36 Weeks!

Your baby is still packing on the pounds — at the rate of about an ounce a day. She now weighs almost 6 pounds (like a crenshaw melon) and is more than 18 1/2 inches long. She's shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered her body as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and protected her skin during her nine-month amniotic bath. Your baby swallows both of these substances, along with other secretions, resulting in a blackish mixture, called meconium, will form the contents of her first bowel movement.

At the end of this week, your baby will be considered full-term. (Full-term is 37 to 42 weeks; babies born before 37 weeks are pre-term and those born after 42 are post-term.) Most likely she's in a head-down position.

One week to go. I wish I had a bit longer, but it is what it is and I've accepted that now. I am excited. The anticipation has really hit me in the past day or so. One week from tonight, right now, I should be laying in my hospital bed, and either seeing two daddies with their baby boy in arms or that little boy will be in my arms being breastfed. So amazing.

I talked with my attorney today and hearing me say the words, "One week from today" to him was just so surreal! I have so many emotions, and I can't stop smiling!

I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed, as I keep going over things and what do I need to do still. As I think I said before, some say a c-hyst takes longer to recover from than a "simple" c-section alone. So, I'm trying to prepare for that, while hoping for the best, I guess? I keep going to the grocery store and I think I may be driving my husband nuts. My most hated chore (grocery shopping) is one I've enjoyed as of late. Only I keep coming home almost daily with bags that need unloaded from the van. So, I walk in and announce hubby needs to unload the van, which means he puts it all away. I told him tonight that I felt bad that he had to do it, and he said he never thought twice about doing it. It's nice to have that help, even for simple things, and it doesn't even occur to him to do it any other way? Awesome.

I got a lot done today, so I'm feeling good. The baking bug is still with me. I told my husband tonight that I'd back off a bit, because we were doing the dishes a lot more than usual due to me. But I may have fibbed.. I want to bake right now! Oops.

I woke up this morning, went to turn over, and I felt a pop down.. low. It wasn't like a pop from bones shifting either. I laid there, perfectly still, and I thought, "Oh my god, what if my water broke?" I didn't know what to do. I wanted to yell for a towel, but figured we have a waterproof mattress cover! I turned the rest of the way over, pushed a bit, and nothing. PHEW! I'd just rather he hang on until we're ready next week.

And the belly pic, it's covered this time to prevent blindness. You can thank me later!

And now for something off topic, but these made me smile this week. If you haven't seen either of the next two stories, read them, watch the videos! Be prepared to cry and smile all at once.

Runner inspires others with act of kindness

Boy with cerebral palsy goes viral with inspirational field day run

Goodbye uterus & cervix, I'm okay..

Forgive me if I repeat things from prior posts, but this is my outlet for this, so here goes..

I'm okay. I don't want to say good or great, but I am okay. I was becoming slightly bitter with myself in the past week. I realized I was more focused on my loss of reproductive ability vs. being focused on Sprout's arrival. I was mad that I couldn't focus on the latter. I was feeling this need to dig deep. I mean, I should know why I'm so focused on my loss, but overall, I am okay with it, so..? And this day, for me (honestly!), is more about this baby's arrival. So, why couldn't I shake my focus away from other things and focus on what is to come with this baby?

It's not as if I can't think of both, I realize. But I have no control over this, and my having no control is difficult for me. I am typically the type that wants to control things, that wants to plan ahead. This? This is out of my hands completely. That. Is. Scary. But I've put my faith in the doctors, and I've thrown up my hands and thought to myself, "Have at me! Just be gentle, please." It's the most I can do. I've grown this baby to the best of my ability, and I have no regrets. I'm fine with not being able to have babies in the future! It's just the surgery, the hysterectomy, the bleeding out part.. egads.

Overall, I am going to try and think about the positive in this, though. And with that, I went against the rule I gave myself when I discovered the completely previa was still there. I said I was not going to Google, I was not going to read up on this, I was just going to go with my gut (and I have gone with my gut on a lot of things!). But last night I backed down somewhat, I Googled some more. I specifically read up on the experiences of other women that have went through this (this being a "c-hyst" as it's called). And some stories were scary, some were good overall. It seems that usually the scary ones were the ones where previa was unexpected, or the mother began bleeding and had to delivery early. Granted, Sprout is arriving three weeks early, but compared to a baby arriving at 32 weeks, 37 is much better. Everyday really counts at this point.

I am glad that I Googled, because many women said their c-hysts were vastly different than their previous c-sections. Their recoveries were more difficult, they had more pain, the energy took longer to return. I am glad to read this, because my OB was telling me this wouldn't be different (recovery wise) from my sections before. So, I feel a bit more prepared in expecting the unexpected.

I am still elated **knock on wood** that I've had no bleeding issues. 85% of women with complete previa experience bleeding by something like 32 weeks? I had some spotting issues in early pregnancy, but it wasn't due to the placenta then. So, I am happy with my body, even if the placenta is being a bear.

I'm trying to enjoy the last few days. It's so weird to know so far in advance as to when this boy is coming out. I am praying he hangs in there until then. I keep finding myself picturing that morning, going in and getting prepped, having the daddies there as well as my husband (talk about some awesome support, I am lucky that the three of them will be there!), being wheeled in.. and for the most part I feel excitement with a side of being semi-apprehensive.

My next pre-op appointment is Thursday. I have a few questions for the doctor, and she'll receive a copy of the sheet that specifies what the daddies want with their child (or do not want, in some cases). I am hoping she is receptive. I have yet to meet her, I've only spoken with her twice, so I am hoping she has a kind bedside manner. In the end, I just want her to do her best when operating on me, though! So, if she has a terrible bedside manner but is the best available for this operation? Bring it on, right? Ha.

And there's some more rambling as I come to terms with this. Overall I am accepting, but it hits me every now and again - this is it, I am done. It's not just the baby coming out, it's my uterus and cervix. No more babies for others, no more babies for myself - the former being more difficult to accept than the latter! :) But I'm okay.

35 weeks (+ 2 days)

Your baby doesn't have much room to maneuver now that he's over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/4 pounds (pick up a honeydew melon). Because it's so snug in your womb, he isn't likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times he kicks should remain about the same. His kidneys are fully developed now, and his liver can process some waste products. Most of his basic physical development is now complete — he'll spend the next few weeks putting on weight.

35 weeks! I'm a couple of days late in updating, but.. I'm tired. Am I feeling done yet? Nope! Physically I am feeling good for the most part. But carrying this belly around, eating the amount I am eating (it seems like a lot lately), the peeing.. oh, the peeing. Our water/sewer bill is going to by sky high from the number of times I'm having to uh, go pee. Ehem. Haha. Kidding. I am just exhausted. Making my once every 1.5-2 week trips to the store for groceries is not happening. I'm going more often, but for less stuff each time. I seem to have enough energy to get around $75 in groceries before I am dragging myself to the register.

I am NOT complaining. Less than two weeks. It's so strange to think how close it is. I'm not upset about it being so soon, but the anticipation is bringing on a mix of emotions, though all are positive. The excitement of imagining seeing him finally, seeing him with his daddies, it's fun to think about though I get teary eyed at certain points.

I am feeling somewhat better about the surgery. They are allowing my husband into the OR with me, which made a world of difference for me emotionally. The idea of laying on that table alone had me panicking. It's weird how good I feel going into it, but they lay me back on that table and I start crying nearly immediately. This always makes the anesthesiologist question if I am okay. Yep, I'm fine, just being hormonal! Thanks. ;) Going into this one, this much more dramatic surgery, I need my husband there. I'll be the first one to admit that I am going to be a mess of emotions once they have me on the table. I don't get hysterical, but I cry practically non-stop. Not sobbing, just the tears don't stop. The excitement and overall emotions of this baby coming out, the one we all worked for for so long it seems, it just makes my throat tighten up.. and the tears flow! :)

I'm still semi-worried about the hysterectomy, how it'll go. I am praying like crazy that things go decently, that I don't need to be put under general anesthesia. I know many do fine with it, but I've never had to be put under, and no amount of "been there, done that" stories will make me any less emotional about the idea of them maybe putting me out. I just told my OB that my husband had better be there when I wake or right after, or they may as well give me a shot of anti-anxiety meds right then and there! (And I hate medications, but I know how I am, too!)

I am so thankful that Sprout's daddies have been so awesome. I know I've said it, but I think it's made a world of difference. It definitely puts me at ease, and I just feel in my heart that fatherhood will come to them so easily. I'm not saying they won't have that momentary, "Oh my gosh, we're responsible for this tiny human being!" (I still remember that feeling, whoa!) Overall, they'll be great, and I know it.. and that puts me at ease.

Anyway, the poor little boy in my uterus is definitely running out of room. He's losing his room that he had to stretch out (and kick me hard when I'd take up some of his precious room!). When he has the hiccups now, I don't just feel them, I see them so easily now. Last night, I believe it was his chest or back, was against where my navel was (must have been his back, but I was trying not to touch or feel much so as not to bother him, lol). He was hiccuping and goodness, my entire belly was shaking SO HARD. This means that his head bumps into the placenta which bumps my bladder. It's kind of funny.

I feel like my belly is growing daily. I look at my bare belly and it's so weird to see, though it's not like this is my first time around the block! It's amazing how the skin just stretches. My skin on my belly is translucent in some places, and the veins are just very prominent. I'm the dork that likes to look and see the "branches" of the veins all over my belly. It's amazing to me.

So, not much going on. I am baking quite a bit in the past few days. That's all I want to do is bake. I don't want to make dinner (unless it's baking!), not even a sandwich, I just wanna BAKE. Three nights in a row of baking and freezing goodies. I took tonight off, though not because I wanted a break, but because I was out of wheat germ.

And now I am off to eat and go to bed! Sprout is wide awake and moving about, which I swear is depleting my energy, so I need something in my tummy before I hit the sack!