21 weeks

Your baby now weighs about three-quarters of a pound and is approximately 10 1/2 inches long — the length of a carrot. You may soon feel like she's practicing martial arts as her initial fluttering movements turn into full-fledged kicks and nudges. You may also discover a pattern to her activity as you get to know her better. In other developments, your baby's eyebrows and lids are present now, and if you're having a girl, her vagina has begun to form as well.

I've been trying to type up a post but I am honestly just not feeling it. 10 days on bed rest thus far. Things are going well, and I am still feeling positive that the placenta will be moved up by my next appointment. For now, I am laying around, taking it extremely easy, and thankfully the kids and husband are picking up the slack with no complaint. I am in a funk emotionally, but I am hoping I can climb out of this when I am off of rest. It's not so much the rest, it's the emotional burden (which I put upon myself) in feeling like I am not doing my best. I know the placenta issue is not my fault, there is nothing I can do or could have done to prevent this. But my heart is still feeling heavy over this, and I just want the best for this little boy and his parents.

So, I think that's why I'm not feeling it (writing today). I'm feeling pretty lonely and withdrawn, but I am trying to work on that, as emotionally it's just .. well, a lot to bear. I don't want to complain, but these are my honest feelings. It's definitely different - being on bed rest with your own child vs. rest with your surro baby. It's a whole new set of emotions when it's a surrogacy!

Well, that's the summed up version of how I'm feeling. I am trying to stay busy with watching some TV, Netflix, finding some new sites online, reading my regular blogs, and so on. Of course, I have more time for Facebook and Twitter but I am feeling myself pull away. Go figure, right? ;) I'm finding that I'd rather just read vs. communicate, though. :)

Fingers still crossed that this placenta issue is resolved very soon. I hope to find out in 3ish weeks. I'm feeling good otherwise, Sprout is very active, kicking down low constantly. He wakes every morning around 3am, which is funny. It's just weird to know he's getting into a sleep pattern already!

Hopefully I'll feel better, maybe I'll find another new activity by this time next week (I hope so!), and my post next week will be happier and less emotional (for me to write, while trying to keep it concise). :)