Excitement (aka rambling)

I had my pre-op appointment last week. It was basically just for the OB and I to meet (the one doing my surgery, we hadn't yet met), for her to listen to my heart and lungs, and for us to go over my wishes and how things should go but also how badly they could go. It was an okay appointment, except for the part where she was reading these negative outcomes off of this sheet and I began getting woozy. I saw the black tunnel and being as I was sitting on the table, not in a chair or close to the floor, I knew I had to do something and quick. I couldn't talk, so I braced myself as best I could and did deep breaths. I brought myself out of it, thank goodness. I wasn't even feeling that worried, but I think hearing her talk about blood transfusions (which I am fine with) just got to me for some reason.

After that appointment, I had to head over to the hospital to speak with the anesthesiologist. He was so nice, very calming to talk with. As he told me, my case isn't easy, but with the preparation everyone is doing, it's extremely helpful towards my case. He said they deal with a lot worse, and especially on an emergency basis. He went on to say that he can't promise how things will go, of course, but he has a good feeling all will be well. For all I know, he was bullshitting me, but I didn't think he was. And even if he was? He was good at it, and I don't care - haha. We spoke for awhile, went over my pretty limited history, and he was thrilled with how healthy I am besides the placenta being a "pain in the butt" (we both agreed on that aspect). He felt my spine and was happy with whatever medical term he spit out, and then he was extra thrilled with my mouth and airway - which was hilarious to hear him say. He checked my arms, and was then very happy with my veins. I try my best to be a good patient, haha. He informed me that I'll either have three IVs (yuck, I hate IVs - they always hurt my arms and hands so badly) or a central line in my neck. I almost want the one in my neck, as icky as it sounds to me and others. We went over how my spinal failed during the last part of my section last time, so he asked if I wanted a spinal/epidural combo (after telling me the benefits) and I said, "YES, PLEASE!" And they will for sure be putting me under general anesthesia for the hysterectomy.

So, I'm a bit apprehensive about the GA. I just don't want to be one of those people that acts chaotic when coming out of it. I'm kind of sad to think that I may not remember much after, that I may be so out of it that I'll be in a fog for the first day or two. I really hope that isn't so, because those first few days are so important for to me to see and remember.

It's crazy unbelievable that in just over 48 hours this little baby, who has been bopping around in my belly for many months now, will be out. It's bittersweet to think that my uterus and cervix will be out as well, and that my baby baking days are over for sure.

Anyway, I was to go for a massage yesterday but cancelled. I've had this tremendous desire to stick around home, get even the smallest of chores done, and be with my children Their last day of school is the day I am delivering, which saddened me a bit as I'll miss that day and picking them up. But it's not so bad, they'll have grandma there, which they are ELATED about. I can finish up last minute errands while they're at school over the next two days. And tomorrow, for the first time ever, I get a pedicure - the works, where they wrap your feet, massage you, and so on. I am excited! I made sure to schedule that while the kids are at school, just so I won't miss time with them.

The next two days are going to go so quickly. I'm making sure to rub my belly a bit more than usual, just trying to soak up every last bit of this before I am done with pregnancy for good. :)