Happy World Breastfeeding Week! + An Update!

Well.. hello!

I feel bad for not updating here in a month, but I have been busy. Let me show you what I've been doing..

Without getting too graphic (although they are just breasts, doing what they're made for!), that's me pumping while sitting with my laptop. I've been pumping 8-10 times per day every day since I was discharged from the hospital.

It's a LOT of work, but it is worth every minute of pumping (even at 2am!), bagging up milk, storing it, shipping it, and more. I do have to admit that compared to when I pumped with my twins, this time is much "easier" as I don't have a newborn (or two) to care for on top of it all, of course. I mean, I am still getting up during the night, as it's incredibly important I pump at least once between 1 and 5am! But it's not too difficult to get up, pump, store in the fridge, back to sleep. I really can't complain. It's helped me recover a lot faster, I think, and it's been helpful for me emotionally, I think anyway?, to know I am helping Sprout still!

Here's some of my milk shipments. Yes, I take photos of the milk before I ship it off. I am THAT proud of not only my milk, but also a proud surro mama in general! I've made just over 2200 ounces of milk so far, that's just over 17 gallons!

A days worth of milk

My most recent shipment of just over 600 ounces of milk!

Sprout is doing really well. His daddies seem very busy and very happy! I am still so so elated for them. They are a beautiful family, I think. Sprout is of course adorable, and boy, he's growing a lot. I saw some new photos of him last night and it made my heart swell. That sounds so .. silly, but it's true. It's hard not to be proud of that little guy, and also of his daddies and the amazing way they've taken to fatherhood. I had no doubts about them being daddies, and I am just reminded all of the time that I made the right choice in helping them to become fathers. I am so blessed! What a great note to go out on for my surrogacy journeys!

I have been doing well. I think what I suspected as being baby blues was actually, "My leg won't work, this sucks" blues. My leg began regaining movement and one day I told my husband I wanted to stand up sans leg brace. He immediately said no, he was just worried I'd fall, and I understood but darn it, I needed to try! He went off to the store that evening and I had my son grab my walker. I shouldn't have done it, but I needed to try it.. so I stood up and I half expected to fall on my face, but I didn't. I stood there and I then began sobbing. It may have been just over three weeks since I stood, which really wasn't all that long, but I had no warning of such a problem occurring, so no mental preparation! So, to stand up and do it myself, it was overwhelming. I took it slowly and still need to be slow here and there. I'm not running or anything really, and I need to take it easy on inclines/declines (even my driveway, which is only slightly sloped!) and going up and down stairs. But I can walk, and I am still not taking that for granted. It's so nice not having to depend on others or that darn leg brace (I'm ready to burn it!).

Other than that and pumping a lot, it's just been busy with the kids, summer, and the usual things in life.

So, I titled this post Happy World Breastfeeding Week. WBW is August 1st through 7th! I've been posting a lot of facts and such on my Twitter and Facebook and I plan on a couple of blog posts in the coming days about it as well. Look for those in the next few days hopefully..

And now I am off to bag up milk. I actually just pumped while writing this post. :)

Happy Due Date.. err, Fourth of July

Today marks what would have been 40 weeks pregnant with Sprout. Instead the little guy is three weeks old. So amazing! His daddies are doing great with him, I think They're naturals, if you ask me. I'm told he's still a quiet little one, which I joke that he did not get from me!

Baby blues have set in somewhat for me. I think the majority of my being down is due to some pain I'm experiencing in my incision area (there's a bump under my incision where I believe I may have popped a stitch, it's quite weird to feel), and then the leg. Oh, the leg. Gimpy leg, as it's called around the house. It has it's own name! There's been some slight progress, but I don't see myself walking without my brace before the end of the summer. Do I hope I am? Sure! But I like to be realistic, too. It's just hard, because it limits me. I'm doing more and more, but it's still irritating and limiting either way. Ah well.

Breast pumping is going well. I am nearing 50 ounces a day, which I am pleased with, but I can admit that I'm hoping to get a bit more of a supply in the coming weeks. Still, 50 ounces is great, and I know that. After having not even 1/4 of this supply with my own twins, I'm thrilled with this. I have about 400 ounces in my freezer since my last shipment to Sprout. That freezer is filling fast! Oh, I have a LOT more room, but it's nice to see it filling with the milk that MY body has made.

I keep having dreams where I wind up pregnant and we find out that (obviously) the OB forgot to remove my uterus when Sprout was born. It's either that dream or another dream where my husband reveals that he wants another baby. I addressed this with him the other day, but the look on his face told me that'd never happen, not to mention the words that flew out of his mouth.. something along the lines of some laughing and then him saying, "I don't think so!" I have a lot of friends that have quieted about their own journeys to motherhood or surrogacy, because they don't want to upset me. But honest to goodness, I am fine with the hysterectomy. It is strange to think that I don't have to think about birth control again, that even if I wanted that I cannot have another child. (And believe me, even with a uterus, I'd be so very very done!)

All in all I think I'm doing pretty well, even with some hiccups thrown into this. Lately I do one of only a few things, and that's eating, resting/sleeping, pumping, or playing/interacting with my kids. This milk making thing really takes it out of you, and as I am reminded by many, losing half of your blood supply and having it replaced with transfusions can take weeks to recover from. I'm not used to this resting thing, not to this degree. But I am trying to enjoy it while I can, while semi-looking forward to when I can be up and around more, doing more myself, and hopefully getting to the beach before the summer is over (without the brace would be awesome, haha).

Happy 3 weeks to Sprout, and Happy Fourth of July! :D

An Interesting Time

Warning: Rambling about pumping breast milk is included below.

So, I'm about 1.5 weeks postpartum right now. It's been.. interesting. This leg thing has thrown me for a loop, but I'm adapting pretty quickly. I don't use the walker right now, though I imagine I will here and there for longer trips out. My leg brace is saving my life right now. Well, my sanity. Thank goodness for that, even though it's a pain in the butt (quite literally at times).

The good news is, I was sitting at the dining room table yesterday, eating my lunch. I had the brace half undone, as I need to bend my knee a bit when sitting at our table. I thought to myself, "I'm going to lift my leg up." So I look at my leg and lift it.. and I got my foot up about a foot or so from the floor. I held it there for 5 seconds easily. I put it down and looked over at my husband and half-shouted at him that I just lifted my leg up! He got up to come over and see and this time I took the brace off completely and did it again. Amazing. It didn't drop down like dead weight either, though I had to lower it quickly as the pain from holding it up wasn't feeling too good.  I haven't been able to raise it again like that since, but I am pretty sure this is just a reminder that this process is going to be slow. I'll take slow as long as I regain my ability to walk again (without the brace, without hurting my lower back from said brace!).

I still can't talk much about my leg without crying. So, if you know me in real life and try to talk to me about it, well - don't. It's a pretty emotional topic for me. I can talk with hubby, but most anyone else and I just want to cry. I'd be taking it easy either way, yes, but this has limited me quite a bit and that's been very emotional for me. I've been sleeping on the couch since I was discharged from the hospital. Just the idea of strapping the brace on to get up and pump during the night sounds like a royal pain, plus I'd wake my husband (the velcro on the straps is LOUD!). So, I sleep on the couch, then when it's time to pump, I wake and sit up and pump. I don't have to worry about waking anyone and I don't have to strap the brace on a few times a night either. But hubby is starting to ask when I'm going to start sleeping in our bed again, so I think him sleeping alone is bothering him now. I need to figure this out, what is easiest and best, but it's not easy..

As for pumping, I am so so proud of my body! My supply is increasing a bit each and every day so far. At first it was growing by 5 ounces a day, but it's slowed a bit, though I am NOT complaining. Yesterday I pumped 36.85 ounces! I think it's safe to say that that number is above what Sprout is taking in at this point! I'm elated. I'd still like my supply to increase a bit more, as I'd like to get ahead of him by a bit more. I am pumping 9 - 11 times a day. I typically pump for 20 - 35 minutes each time, so geesh - I'm spending just over 4 hours a day pumping?! It doesn't feel like it at least. And I'm finding pumping to be pretty relaxing, so that's nice.

I need to get my first shipment out to Sprout today, though. I am nervous about shipping milk across the country. It can be done, it is done often, and I'm sure things will be fine. I know the ins and outs of how to do this, but handing off my precious milk, which I've been working SO hard for, is slightly stress inducing! :O I'll be sure and take photos later today. I am proud of what I've done. Part of this is due to my supply or lack thereof when I was pumping for my twins. I remember how upset I was then at how poorly my body was doing or that's how I saw it. So, to have a good supply now? Yes, I am excited.

According to my Milk Maid app, I have 5.64 liters or approximately 190 ounces of milk. That's not including what I pumped and gave to the daddies before they left last week, it only includes what's for sure in my freezer right now.

So, all in all things could be worse with the leg, but they aren't and for that I am thankful. When I think about the surgery and everything I was up against, I think what I'm dealing with now is pretty minimal, even though I'd love to have the use of my leg back soon, haha. And the pumping is going great, plus it's been educational for my kiddos. They find it fascinating that I can make this, and it's made for some interesting conversations in our house lately. I like that they are so interested and are comfortable asking questions. The boys seem more interested than my daughter. :)

And for some photos.. because it's my blog and I can put these here and not feel like I'm boasting! :P

Some of the freezer stash

One days worth of milk ready to be bagged

One days worth of milk ready to freeze

Love this app!

Pumping and Napping

That's all I'm doing lately or so it feels like. Pumping and napping. Being stuck on the couch due to my leg probably means that I am napping more than I would if my leg actually worked. I am pumping 8-10 times per day, including two pumps during the middle of the night when I'd be sleeping. Getting at least one pump in between 1 and 5am is vital right now, since prolactin levels (the hormone that makes you make milk) are at their peak then. I am so glad I can nap when I want and need, it's been really helpful. I am not the type to nap typically, but lately it's been needed! My husband is getting used to walking into the living room and finding me zonked out on the couch.

Pumping is going quite well, I think. My supply is steadily increasing each day. I keep track on an app on my phone (MilkMaid). It's neat (for a geek like me, ehem) to see how much I am producing and how it's increasing! I'll have to do some screen shots of it soon. I am not even using the app to it's full potential, just for basic record keeping, but I LOVE it and suggest it for any mama that is pumping even part time!

My husband has been great. He's been helping me with storing milk, washing bottles, making sure I am taking my vitamins (I am still scatterbrained lately!), keeping my water bottle filled, etc. I have a little setup around the couch, which makes the living room look cluttered, but with being sort of disabled for a bit, it's what works for me! I have my pump supplies in their basket, but then my table with my vitamins, my water bottle, and so on. I then have a bag of snacks near where I sit, full of protein filled snacks, and some of the lactation cookies I had baked (and froze) just before I had Sprout. I am currently eating these cookies: Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Lactation Cookies by Noel Trujillo They are SO good. I altered the recipe a bit by adding fenugreek and blessed thistle too it. I don't know if they're helping my supply, I eat them more because I prefer snacks right now, and they are just GOOD! I don't feel badly eating them like I would other cookies either.

I said goodbye to Sprout and his daddies on Monday. My husband and I went out to dinner with them, which was nice. We talked quite a bit and then Sprout was hungry, only I guess he just wanted to snack. It was the last day that I'd ever nurse a baby. There I sat in the Olive Garden taking photos of him nursing. I am sure some people thought I was strange, but I didn't care. And here is the first and one of the few photos I'll probably post of him on this blog. He is so gorgeous, but then, I am biased! This was our last nursing session. Such a little love he is. :)

I also gave the guys the milk (colostrum!) I had pumped between Saturday evening and Monday afternoon.

 

I was and am pretty proud of that actually! I've already started putting some in the freezer since then, and that's been a great feeling as well. It makes the work of this worth it, to see what is Sprout's food, what his daddies will feed him. And yes, I will be taking photos of my frozen milk before I ship it off. Do you expect any less of me? Ha.

I'm doing pretty good otherwise. My leg is still useless, and I am getting better at strapping on the immobilizer quickly. I use the walker around home, but out and about I tend to hold on to my husband's arm as it's easier on me. The walker is causing me some pain in my back and in my good leg, so I am learning quickly how to get around without it (but doing my best to be safe, of course).

I am excited to see where pumping goes over the next few days to few weeks. It's interesting, to me, to see my supply gradually increasing. The human body is amazing, and I'm once again reminded of this fact!

Neuropraxia aka why my left leg doesn't work

Neuropraxia: The temporary failure or impairment of functions due to a disorder of the nervous system.

Well, we figured out what is wrong with my left leg. During my surgery last week, they used metal retractors (clamps) to hold me open during the hysterectomy. One of these retractors pushed on the femoral nerve, which caused damage to the myelin surrounding the nerve. Myelin is sort of like a protective coating, but if it's damaged at all, the nerve can malfunction or turn itself "off" until the myelin has healed. So, this is what happened to me most likely.

The femoral nerve makes my quadricep work, so this means that if the nerve won't work, the muscle does not, of course. My lower leg works fine, I can move my ankle and toes all around. But I can't lift my thigh up, much less lift my foot up. Well, I can about 1-3" (it varies each time I try), but it stays up for 1-5 seconds before it falls back down involuntarily. Walking is out of the question, as when I try, my knee falls forward.

So, I am in a knee immobilizer (it goes from just below my groin area to my ankle) and a walker. I have to use a lot my upper body strength to walk, but due to the incision and laying in bed for a few days, my upper body isn't feeling so strong. I'm getting up a few times a day. I strap some bags to the walker and fill it with pump supplies that need washed, milk that needs stored away, along with my water bottle to refill, etc. I do that, then make a trip to the bathroom to empty my catheter bag (which I have until Wednesday due to a bladder repair during surgery, and the urologist wanting my bladder to have time to heal). It's time consuming, but I'm getting the hang of it! The knee immobilizer is a pain more than anything else, but meh, it keeps me up, so that's good.

We don't know how long I'll need help walking before my leg begins working again. It could be two weeks, it could be a month, or many months. There's a slight possibility of it being permanent, but the neuro is hopeful it's not, so I'm hopeful as well!

Otherwise, I am feeling great. There's some minor incision pain near my navel but that's it. I'm more teary-eyed than usual, but not feeling down or anything. I was upset last night, as I was waiting for my walker to be delivered (the hospital wouldn't let me buy one, LONG STORY). The walker wasn't delivered until nearly midnight as the healthcare place was running late. So I was a bit down about that, but I have it now and feel so much better. :) Things could be worse, and I think that thought is what has me hopeful about my leg recovering, and knowing this cath will be removed on Wednesday has me happy as well.

Other than pumping a lot and resting a lot, that's about it. I'll have to update later about pumping. I'm so excited at seeing what I've produced so far. :)

Sprout's Birthday

Wednesday, June 13th.

I woke up at 7am and laid in bed for longer than I should have. I was tired, and just not feeling motivation to get moving. I eventually got up and suddenly we were running late. Oops. Nerves hit me and I had to get sick a few times. My husband then asked how I was doing, and I began crying. I wasn't sad, just very overwhelmed. On the way to the hospital, hubby began talking about other things and at one point I said something and he said he was trying to keep my mind off of things. :)

We got to the hospital, checked in, and went upstairs to the surgery check in. Sprout's dads stayed in the waiting room with Tom, and I got taken back to get prepped. Lots of doctors and nurses. Tons. Everyone was really positive.. except my OB. I did my best at ignoring her, "This could go bad" talk as I was just tired of hearing it already. Eventually Tom was brought back to sit with me for awhile. The nurses were all horrified to hear that no one was going into the OR with me. I explained why, but then the anesthesiologist and OB came in and said Tom could go in with me. *sigh* Really? After you both just nearly pleaded with me last week to not have anyone in with me? Tom and I talked briefly, but we decided he'd stay out. I know he would have went in a second had I asked him, but overall I felt it best for me and him for him to stay out.

And then the OB and anesthesiologist said they wanted me to stay awake for the entire thing. Here I was prepping myself for the idea of general anesthesia, and they had changed their minds. I was a bit irritated. I am such a planner, that someone changing something I had planned on just grates on my nerves. I was also terrified that I'd begin freaking out on the table, in which case they'd put me out anyway!

I got my epidural, instead of the spinal (spinal only lasts 3 hours, they wanted something that would last longer). Arching your back like a cat with a HUGE belly in front of you is not easy. And then a nurse is reaching up underneath of your gown to track baby on the monitor and make sure his heart sounds okay. LOL. But I got the epidural and then a central line along with two IVs. I was taken back to the OR rather quickly, and they began prepping me more - getting yet another IV in me, making sure the donor blood they had was correct, etc.

The doctor came in to do the stents in my ureters. Between this, the IVs (my veins were being a pain), a quick xray to verify something or another, etc.? It was overwhelming. The anesthesiologist began dosing my epidural and the shakes started. I've never shook so bad during a c-section. It was horrible. I had a nurse on either side holding my hands, as my arms were practically jumping off of the table (seriously). I had tears pouring out of my eyes continuously, and they thought something was wrong, but that's just what I do when I'm shaking!

It took an hour and a half in the OR of prepping before they got down to business. They did the section and I quickly heard Sprout being pulled out, suctioned a tiny bit and then he screamed. I was hoping to get to see him but no such luck. They took him over to wrap him up and got him out of there within two minutes it seemed like. I was then told my hysterectomy was beginning. Ugh, I wish they'd just put me under, but I was shaking so hard I couldn't ask for that when I thought of it. The anesthesiologist began giving me meds to relax me and that helped the shaking for about five minutes before it returned worse than ever. Dang it.

I tried my best not to listen to the doctors doing the hysterectomy. At one point I heard how much blood I was losing, and I remember wondering how much more I could lose before... I don't know? I then began ignoring them more so, to the best of my ability anyway. Nurses and anesthesiologist were great, they were asking me continuously if I was okay. I was so hoped up on whatever meds I'd been given, I could barely talk. When I could talk, I was slurring my words, and I just got frustrated and gave up replying to them. I'd instead shake my head yes or no when they'd ask and leave it at that.

I fell asleep a few times during the hysterectomy, which was SO nice. I believe the surgery went from 10am to just after 2pm? I was in recovery then for just over an hour before being taken to my room. I was so anxious to see the baby and the daddies, but the nurses were doing other things, which I understood. Finally they got the guys and baby brought into the room, and then my husband.

The rest of the day was quite a blur. From 4 to 7 pm I was in a lot of pain around my incision site. I was asking the nurse to give me a different med, as the med in the pump wasn't working. She upped the dose, and I requested she not and just give up (I was that sure it wasn't working, I was that frustrated and in pain), but she kept telling me to hit the button every 15 minutes. Well, I was, but the pain was getting worse. I was so frustrated, trying not to cry, I was shaking at one point and twitching my feet to take my mind off of it somewhat. I found myself doing deep breaths, and eventually the nurse asked something about pain (I think the scale of 1-10, to which I said 9, and I began crying and trying to suppress my desire to moan through the pain).

The nurse couldn't figure it out, finally said she'd ask my OB to approve Ibuprofen or Tylenol. But the doctors were busy, as I was told, which only frustrated me (I am not a good person to be around when I'm in pain). Then Tylenol was approved, but the nurse forgot to bring it. In the end, another nurse came in and checked out the medication pump to find out the pump wasn't working. It was supposed to be beeping each time I hit the button, but I didn't know that. Well, it wasn't beeping. So three hours with no meds. Never want to do that again, no thanks. My poor husband was even trying to emphasize to them that I am the type who only needs Ibuprofen for 2-3 days after a section, so something was obviously not good this time. Ah well. They figured it out, and I was so thankful for that second nurse. :)

I did end up losing my uterus and cervix. The OB didn't elaborate (yet), but said there was no way around it once they were in there, I guess. The plus to this? They didn't have to knead my belly (uterus) post-op, so I didn't have to deal with that pain and irritation. I was trying to find the positives in this yesterday, can you tell?

I lost just over 2.5 liters of blood, so I had 3 transfusions. My bladder had scar tissue on it, so they removed the scarring as much as they could, but then had to repair the bladder which created a weak spot that had to be further repaired. I have to have a catheter for 7 days in order for my bladder to heal properly. Things went well for the most part, and thankfully I was not given morphine (I'm apparently allergic, as we've found out the previous two sections). So while I'm somewhat itchy, I'm not excessively itchy!

Sprout is doing well. He's a bit sleepy, which everyone attributes to him being a 37 weeker (it may be "term" but it's not 39/40+ weeks either). I've gotten him to latch a few times with a lot of work, but otherwise I am pumping to keep that stimulation going.

Most of the staff here has been wonderful, which is different than my previous two surrogacys. They even gave Sprout's daddies their own room across the hall, which I found to be wonderful. The lactation consultant has been great, she was so happy I had colostrum for Sprout (for the time in which I was still in surgery). She was so nice to the guys, and then she came in to help me to get Sprout to latch. (Moving around to get comfy plus latch a baby isn't so easy with an incision in the middle of your belly) She was so nice, I just couldn't get over it! The other really wonderful one was the baby nurse that was with me during prep, the surgery and then met with the guys and helped them with the baby, I believe. She is a total sweetheart. She made sure to remember the guys names, which was funny, because she kept repeating their names to herself, even during the surgery - which made me laugh.

The nurse that found my medication pump not working was also to be my night nurse. She is a complete sweetheart as well, so very helpful. I hate asking for help, HATE IT, but she offered to make my tea for me during the night. :) She's been great about taking the baby back and forth between my room and the guys room (though one intended daddy was coming in here as well, we're not totally dependent on the poor nurse, lol). The night nurse also told me I had two incisions, which no one had told me. I'm still unsure as to why, but there's the main incision which is obvious, but then a second incision. I'm curious to hear about that today from the doctor!

Overall, the birth went better than I had expected. I am feeling pretty weak from the blood loss. My left leg is also not wanting to work, so they are trying to figure out why. I tried to stand this morning, and did to an extent, but walking is out of the question. My left leg, while I can feel it, feels as though it weighs 50 lbs alone. It's like when you're leg is asleep and you can't feel it moving as you're trying to walk along before it wakes up, but it's a bit worse. I'm not too worried, just hoping it was due to the epi and will improve soon.

I'm feeling blessed this morning. I only had two hours of sleep, and one of my poor nipples is a bit ouchie from a poor latch (I knew I should have corrected it, oops). But I can't complain, the day was great, and seeing those two men with their baby boy is a-flipping-mazing. And that little boy, well I am bias, but I think he's adorable.

Oh, his stats - he was born at 11:53am, weighing in at 8 lbs 1 oz (at 37 weeks, woo hoo!), 20.5" long, 15" head. He has dark brown hair as well. I think he looks so tiny, and my husband agreed, though obviously we're used to our big kiddos at home. :) Everyone keeps saying how big Sprout is. I was sure he'd be in the 7 lb range, but I was wrong. :)

So, Happy Birthday to Sprout. I am thrilled to end my surrogacy days with this pregnancy and birth, even though it wasn't ideal at times, it worked out and I'm glad.

Excitement (aka rambling)

I had my pre-op appointment last week. It was basically just for the OB and I to meet (the one doing my surgery, we hadn't yet met), for her to listen to my heart and lungs, and for us to go over my wishes and how things should go but also how badly they could go. It was an okay appointment, except for the part where she was reading these negative outcomes off of this sheet and I began getting woozy. I saw the black tunnel and being as I was sitting on the table, not in a chair or close to the floor, I knew I had to do something and quick. I couldn't talk, so I braced myself as best I could and did deep breaths. I brought myself out of it, thank goodness. I wasn't even feeling that worried, but I think hearing her talk about blood transfusions (which I am fine with) just got to me for some reason.

After that appointment, I had to head over to the hospital to speak with the anesthesiologist. He was so nice, very calming to talk with. As he told me, my case isn't easy, but with the preparation everyone is doing, it's extremely helpful towards my case. He said they deal with a lot worse, and especially on an emergency basis. He went on to say that he can't promise how things will go, of course, but he has a good feeling all will be well. For all I know, he was bullshitting me, but I didn't think he was. And even if he was? He was good at it, and I don't care - haha. We spoke for awhile, went over my pretty limited history, and he was thrilled with how healthy I am besides the placenta being a "pain in the butt" (we both agreed on that aspect). He felt my spine and was happy with whatever medical term he spit out, and then he was extra thrilled with my mouth and airway - which was hilarious to hear him say. He checked my arms, and was then very happy with my veins. I try my best to be a good patient, haha. He informed me that I'll either have three IVs (yuck, I hate IVs - they always hurt my arms and hands so badly) or a central line in my neck. I almost want the one in my neck, as icky as it sounds to me and others. We went over how my spinal failed during the last part of my section last time, so he asked if I wanted a spinal/epidural combo (after telling me the benefits) and I said, "YES, PLEASE!" And they will for sure be putting me under general anesthesia for the hysterectomy.

So, I'm a bit apprehensive about the GA. I just don't want to be one of those people that acts chaotic when coming out of it. I'm kind of sad to think that I may not remember much after, that I may be so out of it that I'll be in a fog for the first day or two. I really hope that isn't so, because those first few days are so important for to me to see and remember.

It's crazy unbelievable that in just over 48 hours this little baby, who has been bopping around in my belly for many months now, will be out. It's bittersweet to think that my uterus and cervix will be out as well, and that my baby baking days are over for sure.

Anyway, I was to go for a massage yesterday but cancelled. I've had this tremendous desire to stick around home, get even the smallest of chores done, and be with my children Their last day of school is the day I am delivering, which saddened me a bit as I'll miss that day and picking them up. But it's not so bad, they'll have grandma there, which they are ELATED about. I can finish up last minute errands while they're at school over the next two days. And tomorrow, for the first time ever, I get a pedicure - the works, where they wrap your feet, massage you, and so on. I am excited! I made sure to schedule that while the kids are at school, just so I won't miss time with them.

The next two days are going to go so quickly. I'm making sure to rub my belly a bit more than usual, just trying to soak up every last bit of this before I am done with pregnancy for good. :)

36 Weeks!

Your baby is still packing on the pounds — at the rate of about an ounce a day. She now weighs almost 6 pounds (like a crenshaw melon) and is more than 18 1/2 inches long. She's shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered her body as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and protected her skin during her nine-month amniotic bath. Your baby swallows both of these substances, along with other secretions, resulting in a blackish mixture, called meconium, will form the contents of her first bowel movement.

At the end of this week, your baby will be considered full-term. (Full-term is 37 to 42 weeks; babies born before 37 weeks are pre-term and those born after 42 are post-term.) Most likely she's in a head-down position.

One week to go. I wish I had a bit longer, but it is what it is and I've accepted that now. I am excited. The anticipation has really hit me in the past day or so. One week from tonight, right now, I should be laying in my hospital bed, and either seeing two daddies with their baby boy in arms or that little boy will be in my arms being breastfed. So amazing.

I talked with my attorney today and hearing me say the words, "One week from today" to him was just so surreal! I have so many emotions, and I can't stop smiling!

I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed, as I keep going over things and what do I need to do still. As I think I said before, some say a c-hyst takes longer to recover from than a "simple" c-section alone. So, I'm trying to prepare for that, while hoping for the best, I guess? I keep going to the grocery store and I think I may be driving my husband nuts. My most hated chore (grocery shopping) is one I've enjoyed as of late. Only I keep coming home almost daily with bags that need unloaded from the van. So, I walk in and announce hubby needs to unload the van, which means he puts it all away. I told him tonight that I felt bad that he had to do it, and he said he never thought twice about doing it. It's nice to have that help, even for simple things, and it doesn't even occur to him to do it any other way? Awesome.

I got a lot done today, so I'm feeling good. The baking bug is still with me. I told my husband tonight that I'd back off a bit, because we were doing the dishes a lot more than usual due to me. But I may have fibbed.. I want to bake right now! Oops.

I woke up this morning, went to turn over, and I felt a pop down.. low. It wasn't like a pop from bones shifting either. I laid there, perfectly still, and I thought, "Oh my god, what if my water broke?" I didn't know what to do. I wanted to yell for a towel, but figured we have a waterproof mattress cover! I turned the rest of the way over, pushed a bit, and nothing. PHEW! I'd just rather he hang on until we're ready next week.

And the belly pic, it's covered this time to prevent blindness. You can thank me later!

And now for something off topic, but these made me smile this week. If you haven't seen either of the next two stories, read them, watch the videos! Be prepared to cry and smile all at once.

Runner inspires others with act of kindness

Boy with cerebral palsy goes viral with inspirational field day run

Goodbye uterus & cervix, I'm okay..

Forgive me if I repeat things from prior posts, but this is my outlet for this, so here goes..

I'm okay. I don't want to say good or great, but I am okay. I was becoming slightly bitter with myself in the past week. I realized I was more focused on my loss of reproductive ability vs. being focused on Sprout's arrival. I was mad that I couldn't focus on the latter. I was feeling this need to dig deep. I mean, I should know why I'm so focused on my loss, but overall, I am okay with it, so..? And this day, for me (honestly!), is more about this baby's arrival. So, why couldn't I shake my focus away from other things and focus on what is to come with this baby?

It's not as if I can't think of both, I realize. But I have no control over this, and my having no control is difficult for me. I am typically the type that wants to control things, that wants to plan ahead. This? This is out of my hands completely. That. Is. Scary. But I've put my faith in the doctors, and I've thrown up my hands and thought to myself, "Have at me! Just be gentle, please." It's the most I can do. I've grown this baby to the best of my ability, and I have no regrets. I'm fine with not being able to have babies in the future! It's just the surgery, the hysterectomy, the bleeding out part.. egads.

Overall, I am going to try and think about the positive in this, though. And with that, I went against the rule I gave myself when I discovered the completely previa was still there. I said I was not going to Google, I was not going to read up on this, I was just going to go with my gut (and I have gone with my gut on a lot of things!). But last night I backed down somewhat, I Googled some more. I specifically read up on the experiences of other women that have went through this (this being a "c-hyst" as it's called). And some stories were scary, some were good overall. It seems that usually the scary ones were the ones where previa was unexpected, or the mother began bleeding and had to delivery early. Granted, Sprout is arriving three weeks early, but compared to a baby arriving at 32 weeks, 37 is much better. Everyday really counts at this point.

I am glad that I Googled, because many women said their c-hysts were vastly different than their previous c-sections. Their recoveries were more difficult, they had more pain, the energy took longer to return. I am glad to read this, because my OB was telling me this wouldn't be different (recovery wise) from my sections before. So, I feel a bit more prepared in expecting the unexpected.

I am still elated **knock on wood** that I've had no bleeding issues. 85% of women with complete previa experience bleeding by something like 32 weeks? I had some spotting issues in early pregnancy, but it wasn't due to the placenta then. So, I am happy with my body, even if the placenta is being a bear.

I'm trying to enjoy the last few days. It's so weird to know so far in advance as to when this boy is coming out. I am praying he hangs in there until then. I keep finding myself picturing that morning, going in and getting prepped, having the daddies there as well as my husband (talk about some awesome support, I am lucky that the three of them will be there!), being wheeled in.. and for the most part I feel excitement with a side of being semi-apprehensive.

My next pre-op appointment is Thursday. I have a few questions for the doctor, and she'll receive a copy of the sheet that specifies what the daddies want with their child (or do not want, in some cases). I am hoping she is receptive. I have yet to meet her, I've only spoken with her twice, so I am hoping she has a kind bedside manner. In the end, I just want her to do her best when operating on me, though! So, if she has a terrible bedside manner but is the best available for this operation? Bring it on, right? Ha.

And there's some more rambling as I come to terms with this. Overall I am accepting, but it hits me every now and again - this is it, I am done. It's not just the baby coming out, it's my uterus and cervix. No more babies for others, no more babies for myself - the former being more difficult to accept than the latter! :) But I'm okay.

35 weeks (+ 2 days)

Your baby doesn't have much room to maneuver now that he's over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/4 pounds (pick up a honeydew melon). Because it's so snug in your womb, he isn't likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times he kicks should remain about the same. His kidneys are fully developed now, and his liver can process some waste products. Most of his basic physical development is now complete — he'll spend the next few weeks putting on weight.

35 weeks! I'm a couple of days late in updating, but.. I'm tired. Am I feeling done yet? Nope! Physically I am feeling good for the most part. But carrying this belly around, eating the amount I am eating (it seems like a lot lately), the peeing.. oh, the peeing. Our water/sewer bill is going to by sky high from the number of times I'm having to uh, go pee. Ehem. Haha. Kidding. I am just exhausted. Making my once every 1.5-2 week trips to the store for groceries is not happening. I'm going more often, but for less stuff each time. I seem to have enough energy to get around $75 in groceries before I am dragging myself to the register.

I am NOT complaining. Less than two weeks. It's so strange to think how close it is. I'm not upset about it being so soon, but the anticipation is bringing on a mix of emotions, though all are positive. The excitement of imagining seeing him finally, seeing him with his daddies, it's fun to think about though I get teary eyed at certain points.

I am feeling somewhat better about the surgery. They are allowing my husband into the OR with me, which made a world of difference for me emotionally. The idea of laying on that table alone had me panicking. It's weird how good I feel going into it, but they lay me back on that table and I start crying nearly immediately. This always makes the anesthesiologist question if I am okay. Yep, I'm fine, just being hormonal! Thanks. ;) Going into this one, this much more dramatic surgery, I need my husband there. I'll be the first one to admit that I am going to be a mess of emotions once they have me on the table. I don't get hysterical, but I cry practically non-stop. Not sobbing, just the tears don't stop. The excitement and overall emotions of this baby coming out, the one we all worked for for so long it seems, it just makes my throat tighten up.. and the tears flow! :)

I'm still semi-worried about the hysterectomy, how it'll go. I am praying like crazy that things go decently, that I don't need to be put under general anesthesia. I know many do fine with it, but I've never had to be put under, and no amount of "been there, done that" stories will make me any less emotional about the idea of them maybe putting me out. I just told my OB that my husband had better be there when I wake or right after, or they may as well give me a shot of anti-anxiety meds right then and there! (And I hate medications, but I know how I am, too!)

I am so thankful that Sprout's daddies have been so awesome. I know I've said it, but I think it's made a world of difference. It definitely puts me at ease, and I just feel in my heart that fatherhood will come to them so easily. I'm not saying they won't have that momentary, "Oh my gosh, we're responsible for this tiny human being!" (I still remember that feeling, whoa!) Overall, they'll be great, and I know it.. and that puts me at ease.

Anyway, the poor little boy in my uterus is definitely running out of room. He's losing his room that he had to stretch out (and kick me hard when I'd take up some of his precious room!). When he has the hiccups now, I don't just feel them, I see them so easily now. Last night, I believe it was his chest or back, was against where my navel was (must have been his back, but I was trying not to touch or feel much so as not to bother him, lol). He was hiccuping and goodness, my entire belly was shaking SO HARD. This means that his head bumps into the placenta which bumps my bladder. It's kind of funny.

I feel like my belly is growing daily. I look at my bare belly and it's so weird to see, though it's not like this is my first time around the block! It's amazing how the skin just stretches. My skin on my belly is translucent in some places, and the veins are just very prominent. I'm the dork that likes to look and see the "branches" of the veins all over my belly. It's amazing to me.

So, not much going on. I am baking quite a bit in the past few days. That's all I want to do is bake. I don't want to make dinner (unless it's baking!), not even a sandwich, I just wanna BAKE. Three nights in a row of baking and freezing goodies. I took tonight off, though not because I wanted a break, but because I was out of wheat germ.

And now I am off to eat and go to bed! Sprout is wide awake and moving about, which I swear is depleting my energy, so I need something in my tummy before I hit the sack!

Grief & Acceptance

I've felt slightly upset with the idea of Sprout's upcoming birth. It was really confusing to me as to why I was upset. I am sure if I had told anyone of this, they'd pin my upset on the hysterectomy, but no, that's not it. Losing my uterus is something my husband and I knew could happen. It's the main reason we made sure we were done having our own children before I started my surrogacy journey over 5 years ago.

I pondered my feelings for a couple of days, trying to figure out just what it is making me hesitant for this day to come. Typically I am excited, I can't wait, it's nerve-wracking and wonderful wrapped in one. But I wasn't feeling that, and I was trying to dig deep to figure out why before that day came.

I figured it out. I have c-sections, that's how it is and how it has to be for me. I've had to answer the, "Why a c-section?" numerous times. I understand why people ask, and I don't take offense, but sometimes I want to say, "Because I said so!" Heh. I don't choose this, but I make the best of it. I am not afraid of a section. Yes, it's surgery, and there's risk and it's not the best thing overall, but for me, it's my only "choice". I've been accepting of this for awhile.

This time I won't be having the section I had dreamed about. I won't be laying there watching one of Sprout's dads as he waits in anticipation of Sprout emerging from my belly. Instead I will either be alone or with my husband (my husband because there's so many more issues this time, more possibility of things going wrong, and I need that support). But they may not even let him in for the birth or hysterectomy, which I am slowly becoming accepting of until I hear their final decision. I won't be able to breastfeed the baby as soon as I'd like, instead I'll be laying there having my uterus and cervix taken out.

I won't see the first time the intended daddies lay eyes on their son. Every time so far, I've been there to witness the parents seeing their child for the first time. And both times, it sounds silly but it was so true, the clock stopped. I can explain in detail as to what their faces looked like, what they said, what the baby was wearing (or in the second surrogacy, how he was skin to skin with his mama immediately), etc. I won't get that this time. That is what surrogacy is for me, seeing that first time. It makes all of the waiting, the frustrations with trying but not getting pregnant immediately, the boring paperwork with the lawyers, and so on worth it! So, letting go of that has been most difficult. But in the end, this is about their family, and I'll still get a few days in the hospital, watching both daddies bond with their son.. which begins to make up for me missing the first time they see him.

So, I figured it out my upset. I have so many friends that had a birth that went wrong somehow or another, and their next birth is what they hope is healing for them (and usually is). Long ago I accepted that I'll never have the birth I've always dreamed of - birthing a baby vaginally, feeling my body working on bringing this life I had been growing to the outside world finally. Today I was reading something about this woman being excited as she's due soon, and it will be so healing for her, and I just thought, "I'm jealous." I'm not jealous, but part of me is sad that my last one won't be as easy as previous ones (yes, sections have been relatively easy, I know..). The uncertainty of this has me feeling slightly out of control and frustrated. I am the type that has to be in control, has to plan in advance - just ask my husband, he's dealt with over ten years of my planning everything (he's the opposite, by the way). Having to let go and knowing I'll lose some of what I was looking forward to is .. sad.

I'm okay for the most part now. I had someone give me grief for Googling statistics about mortality rates for what I'm facing. But with how the OB kept going on and on about my chance of death, it shook me up so bad that day, that I had to Google that night or I'd not sleep. And surprisingly my finding the rate and reading up about things helped me a great deal. I feel much more relaxed and accepting, it's just working on being accepting of even the small things that I won't get this time. That's hard but I'm working on it. :)

34 Weeks - Ramblings, birthdays, belly pics..

Your baby now weighs about 4 3/4 pounds (like your average cantaloupe) and is almost 18 inches long. Her fat layers — which will help regulate her body temperature once she's born — are filling her out, making her rounder. Her skin is also smoother than ever. Her central nervous system is maturing and her lungs are continuing to mature as well. If you've been nervous about preterm labor, you'll be happy to know that babies born between 34 and 37 weeks who have no other health problems generally do fine. They may need a short stay in the neonatal nursery and may have a few short-term health issues, but in the long run, they usually do as well as full-term babies.

34 weeks. Three weeks until Sprout is evicted, unless he decides to try and come earlier (or my body decides that, which it'd better not). I really do doubt that he'll come earlier than they're taking him. I'm not just saying that, I feel it deep down. I hope I am not proven wrong either!

Regardless, I was feeling particularly out of sorts in the past few days.. still am actually. I've lost some of my desire to nest, as I don't want to take these final days for granted nor rush them. I want to enjoy this pregnancy as I have a good feeling it's my last. I did pack my hospital bag, though. There wasn't much to pack, but thankfully I've been updating my list for what I need, so I had a good idea of what to toss in there. I still need to throw in some clothes at the last minute, but it's ready to go. I am sure it'll sit there for three week until D-Day, but that's okay! I feel good that it's ready. I don't typically use my regular camera (so dependent on my iPhone camera anymore!), but I packed it along with extra batteries/charger just in case things go before Sprout's daddies get here.

I'm pretty emotional lately. I feel badly that Sprout is coming out early, though I know I can't control that. Obviously if I could control things, I'd drag my placenta upward and have them do the section at 39/40 weeks instead. I feel confident that things will be okay with him at birth, though. I try not to dwell on things too much, but I've realized lately that I am burying some feelings. I don't want to talk about them with most, and it's nothing against anyone, I just need to keep some things to myself. I'm worried about what will happen during the section. And I have people saying they went through a similar experience, and all was well. That's great, it is and it's reassuring to me! But I'm the type that while I try to remain positive, I look at all possibilities to be prepared. And some of those possibilities are scary. When you are the type that needs to be in control, yet an instance comes up where you have to let go? It's hard! That's all I prefer to say here about that. If you're reading this and we're friends (or family) and I haven't spoke with you about this, please know it's nothing against you. I'm barely even talking to my husband about this right now. It's not weighing TOO heavily on my heart, it's just little fears that pop up occasionally.

So, enjoying the pregnancy is on my "to do" list for now. That plus my kids finishing up the school year, along with field trips, book fair, etc. I'm trying to focus on them. I'm in a pretty emotional part of pregnancy, with it winding down, and I think hormones just going crazier than usual. I mean, I feel bad that I'm going to leave them with my mother in law while I'm in the hospital. I have to laugh after typing out that sentence, but it's true! They love grandma and grandpa's house, so that is helpful for me. They already know that Sprout is coming out on their last day of school, and grandma will be taking them to her house after for a few days. They're excited, which is nice.

I apologize if this post makes me seemed scatterbrained, but.. I am!

Overall I am feeling good still. Sprout is busy digging his toes into my ribs a lot lately, which is pretty painful, but it's kind of cute in a way. He still prefers my left side, I can feel his little bottom resting to the left quite often. When I flip sides while in bed, I can feel him moving around, almost like he's having to pick a new spot to get comfy in, haha. His movements wake me up quite a bit anymore. I love that, though it's scared me a few times. If I am sleeping deeply, I will wake and wonder why the bed is moving when I then realize it's him just rolling around in there.

I think the other thing helping the end of this pregnancy be wonderful, despite the issues we're facing health wise, is my wonderful IFs - Sprout's daddies. They are so amazing. I feel so incredibly blessed to be helping such awesome men become fathers! I was so hesitant to do this again, I really was. I still remember the first time one of my IFs emailed me, and I was resistant overall. I wanted to do this, but I was unsure and not wanting what happened before (long story, eeps). They were understanding, they were reassuring, and we talked a great deal with no pressure from them ever. It was nice. I am so glad I took the plunge, and through the months of trying and the frustrations of not getting it (pregnant!), I'm surprised we're nearly there - at the goal, at the finish line! It feels like the past 1.5 years have flown by somewhat. I am just really pleased with where we are, and it's due to them being so fantastic, it really is. This may be something we all had to work for, but they made it so much easier, so much more enjoyable. I am going to be a mess of tears seeing them with their son, the tears will be from the excitement, and the relief of knowing we made it. I can't wait.

So, Happy 34 Weeks to Sprout and Happy 29th Birthday to me! This is my first of many 29th birthdays, haha. And hopefully Sprout hangs around in that comfy space within me for another 3 weeks before he makes it his birthday.

34 week belly! I feel like he's dropping a bit!

33 Weeks + News

This week your baby weighs a little over 4 pounds (heft a pineapple) and has passed the 17-inch mark. He's rapidly losing that wrinkled, alien look and his skeleton is hardening. The bones in his skull aren't fused together, which allows them to move and slightly overlap, thus making it easier for him to fit through the birth canal. (The pressure on the head during birth is so intense that many babies are born with a conehead-like appearance.) These bones don't entirely fuse until early adulthood, so they can grow as his brain and other tissue expands during infancy and childhood.

 33 weeks! And here I was thinking I had 6-7 more weeks with little man, but apparently I have 4! Yes, FOUR.

I had my appointment this morning where they did an ultrasound to determine if the placenta had moved at all. It had moved, right back over my cervix, NOT the way we wanted it to go. This is called placenta previa and if I were to go into labor, I'd need to RUSH to the hospital as the placenta cannot come out before baby.. to sum it up. There's risk of hemorrhage and such, so it's not good, but not terrible as I haven't had spotting issues since verrrry early on this pregnancy.

Not the best news, but I'm okay with it for the most part. I mean, there's not much I can do, so we make the best of it! The doctor and I talked a lot and decided that Sprout will be born at 37 weeks, which is one month from today! Between this and my kids getting out of school that day (so sad that I'll miss their last day :( ), this next month will fly!

There is a chance I could lose my uterus, depending on how attached the placenta is (if it's grown through the uterine wall basically). I'm okay with this, I knew it was a possibility. I just made sure to verify with the doctor that they would leave my ovaries intact, and he said yes. I want my ovaries since removal of those is what could cause a number of hormonal issues for me, and I don't need those issues until menopause! ;)

Baby looks great! He has hair! It was so cute to see the hair floating around on his head during the ultrasound. He is measuring big, but as the doctor said - we have blood work confirming his conception date, and I of course know darn well that was his conception date anyway for a number of reasons! Based on measurements, which can be inaccurate somewhat at this late gestation, he is measuring at about 6.5 lbs. The doctor said he'd bet that baby is at least 5.5 minimum, if not the 6.5, just from how well/ahead he measured for everything.

So, not what I wanted exactly, but it could be worse, and there's not much I can do but continue to do my best this pregnancy and carry him for another month until he meets his eviction date.. and meets his Daddies! :D

Other than all of that, I am feeling great. Maneuvering around my belly has become .. interesting. I was having a heck of a time getting myself off of the couch last night. Note to self: Do not lay down and NOT have the coffee table near, because you need that table to hold on to while hoisting yourself UP. :O

I do feel the desire to get going NOW on frozen meals. Eeeks. I had been putting it off for no real reason, but with one month left, I think I should get started. It'll help me feel as though I am nesting, too.

32 Weeks!

By now, your baby weighs 3.75 pounds (pick up a large jicama) and is about 16.7 inches long, taking up a lot of space in your uterus. You're gaining about a pound a week and roughly half of that goes right to your baby. In fact, she'll gain a third to half of her birth weight during the next 7 weeks as she fattens up for survival outside the womb. She now has toenails, fingernails, and real hair (or at least respectable peach fuzz). Her skin is becoming soft and smooth as she plumps up in preparation for birth.

32 weeks! Not much has been going on in the past few days. One of my children decided to practice that whole sharing thing that I taught them (why did I teach them such a thing? I forget). He shared his cold, which isn't just a cold for me apparently. My immune system is just not up for this lately it seems. Ah well. So I've been a wee bit under the weather. I became semi-frustrated with this last night and said to heck with it. I went to Target and slowly walked around the store. It was nice. I just needed out to save my sanity!

And I of course bought a few things including a few items I'll need for my hospital bag. I've been aching to pack that as much as I can! I ventured into the baby stuff to look at clothes, and found this adorable onesie for Sprout. (Sprout's daddies, pretend you didn't read that part) I was checking out later on and the cashier asked if it was for my baby while motioning to my belly. I just said, "Um, yeah." I didn't feel like explaining, I just wanted to go and sit in my van and head home, haha. Poor lady was probably wondering why I had to think about it. There are just some times that explaining this is more work than it's worth. That may sound terrible, but regardless of how chatty I am typically, I am not always wanting to chat with strangers. Call me rude, but there it is.

So, hospital bag is started somewhat! I'd like to start on my freezer meals very soon, but that will wait until I am feeling better and can go grocery shopping. I need to start those soon, because I can't spend 8 hours in the kitchen, I need to do this over the course of a few days (or weeks). I just feel this need to be prepared, because I know I won't feel like cooking during the first two weeks postpartum at least. And while my husband is a good cook (better than me, I think), I hate him having to take that on every single day. This is my way of helping out later on, I guess.

Like I said, not much going on. Hopefully this cold gets out of my system soon, though! We've been having some decent weather finally, and it's going to be in the mid-80s this weekend. Eeeks! Thankfully sitting in my big lounge chair while the kids ride bikes, scooters, etc. is pretty easy on me. I'm lazy as of late, haha.

Sprout is .. being himself. This child is continously stretching and making it known that he has his space and I have mine. I don't dare rest on my belly or pull my legs against my belly, he pushes back. It's comical, and then it becomes painful. ;)

I tried getting a couple of videos this week, but I swear this child knows when I pull out the camera. He's learning early that when a camera comes out, you stop what you're doing. I sort of picked up some kicking last night, so here is that video.




Happy Mother's Day to all moms this weekend! :)

31 Weeks! Photos, videos, & a note about Medela *UPDATED*

This week, your baby measures over 16 inches long. He weighs about 3.3 pounds (try carrying four navel oranges) and is heading into a growth spurt. He can turn his head from side to side, and his arms, legs, and body are beginning to plump out as needed fat accumulates underneath his skin. He's probably moving a lot, too, so you may have trouble sleeping because your baby's kicks and somersaults keep you up. Take comfort: All this moving is a sign that your baby is active and healthy.

31! Things have been going well, as usual (yay for usual!). Sprout continues to be very active, but he's keeping his feet away from my bladder and ribs, so I'm thankful for that. I'm pretty sure he's in a transverse lie position, so head on one side, butt on the other, with his legs tucked up in front of him. I feel his feet gliding all over my tummy everyday. I can sometimes feel one with my fingers, and I can make out his teeny little toes! It's pretty amazing.

I'm feeling great. Other than that turning over in bed (rarely happens) thing, and getting off of the couch. The other night I was sitting on the couch and began looking around. My husband asked what I was doing and I told him, "I'm trying to figure out how to get up!" I've decided I need a jet pack under my uh, behind. That'd be very helpful. So, any manufacturers wanting to make the next big maternity product, I suggest a jet pack to strap to our backsides. Just press a button and it boosts us up enough to stand up without us struggling and huffing and puffing. Another idea is to mount one of those bars to the wall near your bed - just hold on to it in order to turn over or stand up. My husband has gotten used to me grabbing his arm to help me turn over, or I push against the wall as I turn over. Better than nothing! ;)

I did a couple of short videos for Sprout's parents to see:

And though I try to keep on a regular schedule for belly shots, I did another one for this week. This one was taken last night. I've grown out of a few shirts in the past 1-2 weeks, so this tells me little man is growing! And yes, wonderful stretchmarks along with huge veins. I know some are like, "WHOA!" but seeing the changes that happen with a pregnant woman's belly always seems very interesting to me.

As of today, the pregnancy calendar on AmazingPregnancy says:

Today is Wednesday May 2nd 2012.

You conceived on Wednesday October 12th 2011 and your due date is Wednesday July 4th 2012.

203 days have passed since the conception, and you are 63 days before your due date.

You are 31 weeks into your pregnancy, and you have 9 weeks to go.

You are in the 3rd trimester.

76% of your pregnancy has passed, there is 24% left to go.

AMAZING! The attorneys are working on paperwork for us in prep for the birth, which just makes this all that more real. This is happening. This little boy is going to come out next month, or EARLY July at the latest. Wow. I am doing my best to enjoy this, but this pregnancy has really flown. I am very excited for the coming weeks, though!

I did want to make a quick note - about the photo contest on Medela's web site, the one I posted about last Saturday requesting votes. I was in the lead by quite a bit, and I thank everyone that took the time to vote for me! Medela apparently has some issues in running their contest, as I lost hundreds of votes, and other entrants lost a few as well. The vote counts bounced around quite a bit (going down a lot) in the final days of the contest. I've talked with Medela but they can't offer much of an explanation. I don't know if your vote was counted or tossed, but I appreciate the effort everyone put forth for me to win this.

So, the contest ended Monday evening and I was in the lead when it ended, but as their rules state, I won't hear for 7-10 days. Hopefully I won their Freestyle pump, but I am not holding my breath. What I am doing once again is thanking YOU ALL for voting for me, sharing the link, etc. I really appreciate the support. Seeing the link circulating on Facebook and Twitter, seeing the votes rolling in (I would have had well over 500 if not 600 by my estimates!), it was amazing to see how much many of you rallied for me to win. And when the votes began disappearing, the messages via Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest (many used my Pinterest account to find me over on FB or Twitter!), blog replies, emails, and texts - I counted nearly 150 different people that messaged me on Monday alone! Some were offering me their pump, some offering to buy supplies, some telling me they wanted to email Medela, many asking what was going on. I was overwhelmed, and it sounds so silly, but I was very grateful! Thanks again. I will keep everyone updated, of course!

LAST but not least - today is mine and my husband's 10th wedding anniversary. Happy Anniversary to us!!

UPDATE: I received notification this morning that I did in fact win the Medela Freestyle breast pump + accessories! I've already had the papers notarized and faxed in. Thank you again to EVERYONE!! :D

Quick! - I need votes & it will help me to help Sprout!

Well, as many know between Facebook, Twitter, and email - I am entered in a contest on Medela's web site. Which ever photo entered that has the most votes by this Monday, the 30th at 11:59PM CT wins a Medela Freestyle Breast Pump along with accessories ($500 value). They are giving away other prizes, though they are random drawings and not based on number of votes.

I entered a photo that my husband snapped of me breastfeeding my first surrogate son, T, in the recovery room just after his birth. (The photo is safe for work most likely as you can barely see anything that may be deemed inappropriate!) I am hoping to win this wonderful prize package as it'd be extremely helpful when pumping for Sprout!

I am asking you to please vote and share this link with family and friends! I only have until this Monday night to get the most votes! Thank you!

Here is the link: http://www.medelabreastfeedingus.com/keep-the-connection-photo-detail/2653

You enter your email, submit, and then check your email account and click the link they'll send to verify your vote. They will not send you any other emails!

Thank you again!! :)

30 Weeks! Whoa..

Your baby's about 15.7 inches long now, and she weighs almost 3 pounds (like a head of cabbage). A pint and a half of amniotic fluid surrounds her, but that volume will decrease as she gets bigger and takes up more room in your uterus. Her eyesight continues to develop, though it's not very keen; even after she's born, she'll keep her eyes closed for a good part of the day. When she does open them, she'll respond to changes in light but will have 20/400 vision — which means she can only make out objects a few inches from her face. (Normal adult vision is 20/20.)

30 weeks - whoa! Goodbye 20s! I'm glad I am saying goodbye to those, and not my own 20s (only just over one more year until I am 30, but anyway).

Sprout is so lively in the past week. He's definitely running out of more room in there. Poor little dude! His feet glide all over my belly through out the day, I can feel him rolling and doing his best to maneuver around. I imagine he's still super comfy though. My belly feels a lot bigger in the past couple of weeks, but again, still feeling great!

I had an OB appointment last Thursday. My fundal height, which is where they measure from pubic bone to top of the uterus, is measuring about a month ahead. This is typical for the babies I carry, being I have a short torso, so my uterus has no where to go but OUT. At this time I was so so much bigger with my twins, so that gives me a good perspective on how easy this is right now! Though when you hear me huffing and puffing as I bend over to pick stuff up? Well, it doesn't feel so easy, haha.

The appointment went well, though. I've gained a couple of pounds in the past month, baby was all over the place and the doctor couldn't keep his heartbeat on the doppler for more than 3-4 seconds at a time (she finally gave up, declared that it was in the 140s and he sounded great). I did my glucose tolerance test, to see if I have gestational diabetes. I passed easily, which made me very happy, it's like passing a test in school or so it feels like!

As I said, things are going great. I am still nesting like crazy, some of which occurs where I sit on the couch and do it, just to relieve the pelvic pain a bit. :) I did declare to my husband yesterday that my days of emptying the dishwasher will be over soon, as bending over continuously is not fun. I am thankful to have him and the kids help me with such things, to the point that I can just not do it for awhile and not have to think about it. :)

I took a photo over the weekend. I was wearing a dress, third time in ten years. I pulled it in at the bottom for the photo only, just to show my uh.. awesome figure. Ha. Black is slimming, right? LOL! As my husband says, some days my belly looks ginormous, other days it looks smaller. It definitely depends on the position he's in now, I think. Don't mind the hair/skin, it was so hot that day and I was feelin' it!

29 weeks 4 days

29 Weeks!

Your baby now weighs about 2 1/2 pounds (like a butternut squash) and is a tad over 15 inches long from head to heel. His muscles and lungs are continuing to mature, and his head is growing bigger to make room for his developing brain. To meet his increasing nutritional demands, you'll need plenty of protein, vitamins C, folic acid, and iron. And because his bones are soaking up lots of calcium, be sure to drink your milk (or find another good source of calcium, such as cheese, yogurt, or enriched orange juice). This trimester, about 250 milligrams of calcium are deposited in your baby's hardening skeleton each day.

29 weeks! Not much going on in the past week, besides the whole growing a baby thing. I've been taking it easy with eating due to the dental episode last week. But that's going well, no issues there! :D I've been nesting - putting together a list of emergency contact information for my hubby (including every which way to contact Sprout's daddies). I figure this list being posted, as well as my adding info to my husband's cell phone, will just mean we won't need it hopefully.

I hit a few resale consignment events at the end of last week. I picked up some new in package pump supplies that I was needing for a lot cheaper than regular retail prices. :D I bought a basket at World Market yesterday to put everything in beside where I sit on the couch. I didn't want the supplies all over, but contained in something that could sort of hide them away when not in use. I'm feeling prepared for this part of postpartum, that's for sure.

Hospital bag list is made (it's rather short for the most part), so I can start adding stuff to my bag in the next few weeks. Most important items: cell phone and cell phone charger. Sad, eh? I use my phone as my camera anymore, so having those two items is very important to me!

Hubby and I have been working on the garage, getting stuff moved around (him moving the heavy stuff, me directing) to accomodate what is now known as the "boob milk" freezer. My idea of how to rearrange has worked, so I was happy.

Don't mind the stuff in front, as we're still re-arranging and donating stuff as well. "Boob milk" freezer on the left, regular freezer on the right.


I took my children to "write night" at their school yesterday. Some of the teachers I don't see often due to schedules, so they were surprised to see how big my belly was. One asked when I was due, I told her, and she gave me the "ohhhh" look along with saying something about how big I am already. She means well, she is so nice, and a great teacher. But I just thought to myself, "No, I feel great still!" Sure, I huff and puff when turning over to my other side in bed during the night. Painting my toenails the other day? Well, I did some interesting maneuvers to reach my toes, some very un-lady like positions! But I am feeling good, and I am loving it. I feel like I have so much energy, so I am enjoying this while it lasts!

28 Weeks!

By this week, your baby weighs two and a quarter pounds (like a Chinese cabbage) and measures 14.8 inches from the top of her head to her heels. She can blink her eyes, which now sport lashes. With her eyesight developing, she may be able to see the light that filters in through your womb. She's also developing billions of neurons in her brain and adding more body fat in preparation for life in the outside world.

28 weeks! I wish I could say this past week has been uneventful but alas, it has not. To sum it up, I had horrendous tooth pain on Saturday, Sunday it was becoming infected (hot/red cheek, PAIN!, swelling). One urgent care visit later - and a blood test revealed my white blood cell count was up, so doc gave me meds including antibiotics. I hate taking meds, though I don't mind antibiotics as much, as I didn't want the infection, of course! Yesterday I had a dental appointment in the morning, oral surgeon in the PM and I'm now without two teeth (one was nearing infected status). To put it simply, my molars came in without enamel, so I was prone to breaks and cavities. To have made it this long with no issues (not even a cavity) in my life? Amazing.

I hate that this happened while pregnant. I felt such guilt earlier this week, like I was letting Sprout or his daddies down. :( After the stomach "flu" and now this, I'd like the rest of this pregnancy to be easy, no problems in any shape or form, please! Haha.

I'm doing the liquid/super soft diet, which is going against every craving I have (CHEESEBURGERS!!). I think Sprout forgives me, though. ;) He seems to be doing just fine! The oral surgeon was wonderful, really focused on making sure baby and I were okay the whole time. At one point he had to stop what he was doing because Sprout was kicking so much and causing me and the chair to jiggle! Sprout is getting to be very strong in the past few days, I swear!

Otherwise I'm feeling great, baby is kicking like crazy, rolling around a bit from what I can tell. I feel good physically (minus mouth issues), and the nesting urge is still hanging in there. I'm taking it easy right now, but the ideas are adding up!

I'll do a belly photo later today (gosh, every two weeks is happening fast!) and add it in here by Thursday hopefully.

Edit to add photo!

27 Weeks!

This week, your baby weighs almost 2 pounds (like a head of cauliflower) and is about 14 1/2 inches long with her legs extended. She's sleeping and waking at regular intervals, opening and closing her eyes, and perhaps even sucking her fingers. With more brain tissue developing, your baby's brain is very active now. While her lungs are still immature, they would be capable of functioning — with a lot of medical help — if she were to be born now. Chalk up any tiny rhythmic movements you may be feeling to a case of baby hiccups, which may be common from now on. Each episode usually lasts only a few moments, and they don't bother her, so just relax and enjoy the tickle.

27 weeks! Some consider this to be the start of third trimester while others say it's next week. Either way, we're only 90ish days out from when Sprout's due date is!

I apologize for the lack of updates. My kids caught gastroenteritis (what some call the stomach flu) the week before spring break. Try as I might, I could not avoid it. I came down with it and was on the couch for 2-3 days, moaning from the most horrific stomach pain I have ever experienced. I got a bit dehydrated there, but I made sure to drink, drink, drink despite my body say, "NO, NO, NO!" I thought I was over it after those 3 or so days, but my body reminded me quickly I was not. Yeah, really fun! Eeks. This along with the kids being ill and hubby feeling a touch of it meant our beach vacation was off. Darn it.

So, I am good now. But the nesting has taken over more than ever before. I don't think I've been this crazy with the nesting during any of my other pregnancies. It's been fun, just time consuming. Just last week I was walking down a hall in our house and thought, "The closet needs cleaned.." and instead of returning to whatever I was doing previously, I grabbed stuff out of the closet, plopped on the floor and began going through it. I found some storage baskets on clearance, so I put them to use. I'm so pleased with the closet! I still want to work on our linen closet (I really hate linen closets, by the way).

I went and bought a chest freezer! It will hold the breast milk I'll be pumping for Sprout. Between that and picking up some pump supplies, it feels like this is all happening really quickly. I'm excited, but I am trying to enjoy this last bit of the pregnancy as well! Still, I'll be no longer pregnant and pumping OFTEN very very soon! Eeeks! :D

Between the kids activities, nesting, and so on, I feel like life has been kind of crazy but in a good way. We're all healthy again, and spring is trying to start (I think, I hope!). I can't wait to get outside more, it'll also be nice to clean out the garage with hubby when it's not as cold. I'm excited! A good time to be having a baby as well, I say.

Sprout seems to be doing quite well. He's definitely getting bigger. I no longer feel a suddenly jab or kick out of nowhere, it seems to be something I can tell is coming now. I attribute this to him being bigger, because he can't pull his arms or legs back to suddenly punch or kick and scare me, ha. I laid in bed this morning, watching him move around. It's always interesting to see your belly doing these weird maneuvers.

Here is my latest belly shot from last week (26 weeks). I'm going to be doing them every two weeks now until the last 4-5 weeks, I guess? Then it'll be weekly.